Top 10 Reasons Why The Feldheim is Superior To Pitchfork

We here at the Feldheim represent elitism, we also represent common sense. For your Winter amusement, here it is:

10.) Our website isn't ugly
9.) We don't have banners (read: we haven't sold our musical souls to Corporate
America......yet)
8.) We all went to (and graduated from) Ivy League schools
7.) We are not pretentious, we are elitists
6.) We hate American Apparel
5.) If both of our staffs were to engage in an all out brawl Angela alone could take
out 6 or 7 of them hipsters (combined weight 330). Ritter would just stare at
another 7 or 8 until they folded into themselves. Toonces would finish off
all the nonviolent ones in negotiations
4.) We don't get free albums in the mail, we usually have to illegally download them
3.) We have better senses of humor, and no one checks our work (proofreading is for normies)
2.) Fuck Justin Timberlake, we all know who's really bringing sexy back
1.) We are named after someones snatch. Pitchfork is named after an "agricultural
enhancer/weak ass weapon"


Also.....Notable Mention at 11.)...

11.) Not one of us lives in Williamsburg