Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Indie-Rock Hypothesis

Well, this is my first actual post to the Feldheim (at least not facilitated by Lansbury [which I suppose makes you rather obsolete now, doesn't it bitch?]), so please understand the lack of pictures and superfluous hyperlinks. Anyway, I would like to post a quick theorem regarding the current state of Indie-Rock andRoll and the whole hipster culture in general, and then gauge the Feldheim's reaction. Simply stated:

I believe that Indie-Rock and Roll and its current corresponding 'hipster' culture is an analogous fad to the jam-rock/hippie culture trend of the mid-90's to early 2000's.

Now whereas this may not necessarily seem like a controversial comment, think of it this way- I am trying to say that these guys are just like these guys. Now, whereas this may please some members of the Feldheim (those that had spent their formative high-school years smoking pot, trading tapes, playing hackey-sack, and feeling incredulous that the rest of their generation listened to shitty music) it is sure to inflame the opinions of some members (those that had spent their formative high-school years smoking pot, sweating power chords, dying their hair, and feeling incredulous that the rest of their generation listened to shitty music). Not to mention that I am sure that there are those here in the Feldheim who could absolutely give a shit and are currently wondering to themselves how it is possible that Ritter can afford to take time from his busy work-schedule to write such an inane rant.

"Yeah, but Ritter... that is so stupid, I mean Indie-Rock is alternative and Dispatch was never alternative... They were just, you know, like pussy. LOL! Besides, back in the mid-90's they had Indie-Rock like Pavement and Sonic Youth and Yo La Tengo... that's what Indie-Rock's roots are.. LOL!!! ;-)"

First of all, I find it very hard to believe that any of you in the Feldheim actually listened to Yo La Tengo in the 90's (and probably just downloaded it from Napster after the fact when you got to college and wanted to fill out your musical inventory). And Yes, I am very well aware of the "history" of this made up style of music, what I am trying to say is that if you go to a high-school now (I am an expert at going to high schools now by the way, especially since I've grown my mustache) you find those same pretentious fucks that thought they were too good to listen to Third-Eye Blind on the radio and instead stuck with the drifting, noodling of Moe., Leftover Salmon, and The String Cheese Incident are the same pretentious fucks that now think they are too good to listen to The Killers and instead stick with 'totally innovative' sound of The Fiery Furnaces, M.I.A., and !!!.

Think about it, they were all turned on to this music by their older brothers and walk around with their kind-of-long hair, I-swear-its-actually-vintage-t-shirts, and a smug sense of musical superiority and try to out do one another of how much more obscure they can get into their respective genres. Just as jam-rock went mainstream in the 90's and then fizzled out (frat boys chilling at Dave Matthews and Guster concerts), look what is happening to your idolized "Indie" rock with every high-school cheerleader with a Karen O haircut is singing Postal Service and Deathcab while their meathead, Guido boyfriends are humming White Stripes baselines, while blasting Gnarles Barkely from their parents' Altima, while bringing over the Garden State DVD so they can have awkward, high-school, basement sex (which I am still good at by the way).

"Well yeah but Ritter, what about Beck and Radiohead? They were alternative and not jammy in the 90's and are really what the 90's Indie kids listened to ~snarf snarf~"

What about Beck and Radiohead? Yes, they were two amazing musical acts that completely innovated and changed the 90's, but if you still think that those two acts are "Indie" well then take off your Hyper-Color and join 2006.

Fuck, I forgot what I was talking about. Anyway, my point still stands: In SAT VERBAL Section Terms: The snobbery and image of the Pitchfork Music Festival:2006 as The snobbery and image of the Phish parking lot:1998.

Fire at will.


Blogger The Big Red Box said...

It's the age old quaqmire of when 'pop' becomes pop(ular)?

Sure Yellowcard/Good Charlotte/Sum41 all think they're punk, but we know better. It's full of hooks and major scales, and loved by pale girls who buy their clothes at hot topic.

Case in point, according to the TheSuperficial THe lead singer of good Charlotte is dating Hillary Duff and the Lead singer of Sum 41 is married to Avril Lavigne. Now, I'd bang both those girls. But that's cause I'm an 80-year-old woman, not cause I'm the lead singer in a "punk" band.

Indie is identity crisis, like pop-punkers wanna date teeny boppers. An Indie wants to be catchy, melodious, with groin-grabbingly glorious tunes, but also minimalist, art laden, and 'on another level." Unfortunately, the result is usually, atonal, dissonant, experimental, and mostly crap^. Hell, I could probably create a mix of songs from Antonym, the Loon, Formerly Known As, the Kooks, British Sea Power, the Zutons, Grey Folding, the Three, Blood on the Wall, the Hold Steady, Matchbook Romance, Zero 7 and you wouldn't be able to tell me who did what song~.

But, independent music does not have to be bad, or even Indie, for that matter, for it seems 'indie cred' is now just viral marketing. Bands want to be indie. Which is kinda like a teenage girl aspiring to be an awkward, knocked up, cocktail waitress.

Musicians don't write music so four people alone in their respective rooms can listen to it. If that was true the Beta Band would still be around and Woody would be the single, coolest mthrfckr on the planet.

Cause he spends a lot of time.


In his room*.

Indie used to mean independent.

Now it's just shitty pop.


^read: say yeah clap your hands
~read: or know which ones I made up without using google`.
*read: masturbating
`and now you feel stupid

4:35 AM, June 15, 2006  

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