Deep Thoughts From One Cool Cat

today while I was walking past a bike co-op near my apartment I saw 2 children about 7 years old taking 7" records out of a patchwork hippie style bad that I would have brought with me to a Phish concert circa 1998 and throwing them against the wall of the co-op until the crashed to the ground in pieces. I would expect that from a bratty kid from Scarsdale (I never hurled it against the wall but I did destroy Big Bird Leads the Band), but not from from the children of hippies. I just think it is crazy that I used to have records when I was younger and CDs are nearly obsolete to today's youth.

Also, I'd like to pose a question. Architecture in Helsinki is opening for clap your hands say yeah in a couple of weeks. I had to miss Architecture in Helsinki last time they were around in the interest of earning my JD. I hear they put on a fantastic show, is it worth it for me to buy the ticket just for the opening act?

Welcome Blossom!!!!!!!

Welcome to our newest member. May the warmth of the box forever comfort you in both times of peril and times of joy. We here approve of your taste and your satirical capabilities. Go forth and spread the joy of the Feldheim, but remember, many have already gotten a taste.

You have joined the elite of the elite, white smoke rises from the chimneys of heaven as this new day settles in. Look to the west young blossom and search your soul for answers to all thy questions.

Welcome, young blossom, you are officially a Feldheimian.

Date added: 09/30/06
Avatar: Blossom
Picture: See Above

Trend Set Match

I have a new question/experiment.

Mardi Gras 2004: Three catch "shouts" were obnoxiously ubiquitous among the southern-party-elite: I'm Rick James Bitch!!!, OK!!!-WHAT?!?-YEAH!!, and I believe in a thing called LOVE!!! Two were blindly originated by Dave Chapelle's second season and the third by an English Rock band called The Darkness. When The Darkness hit the scene in early 2004 they were widely embraced, especially for the aforementioned song. It didn't matter if you were a hipster, a scenester, young, old, or just a 'normy' (my new derogatory term for a "normal," non elite, person... Please start spreading it) you liked that damn song. And it was cool to like that song because it reminded everyone of Queen/T. Rex/Cheap Trick, etc. Easy power chords, soaring falsetto, nonsensical lyrics about love, etc. all added up to make a perfect song. "OMG!" all of the normies would say, "It's like at first I thought that Frankie Mercury made another song that wasn't on my Greatest Hits CD, but then I remembered that he got the HIV and died, LOL!!! So he couldn't have made another song!" The jaded cynics (most likely part of some douchebag post rock band) would say that they were just ripping off the bands that had perfected the style in the mid-80's.

That got me thinking. No shit. Why wouldn't more of today's bands completely rip-off bands that had made a unique style for themselves? That might be a blasphemous line of thought to bring up among the Feldheim, the majority of whose members value "innovation," "redefining genres," and "pushing the boundaries" more than any other musical attributes. Sure, I agree. But 99% of today's musicians don't have the talent, vision, and style to reinvent the wheel... so why not just try to perfect and tweak the old ones. Now, within the past 6 years or so we have seen a plethora of new bands that rip-off older, established acts (think any "The" band). But, most of these bands they were imitating were never really that great, (at least according to most "normies") but were just a fad. Yes, today's musical knowledgeable still sweat The Smiths and The Cure and Joy Division and The Clash and Television Personalities, etc... but to the mainstream they were just flashes in the fad pan.

But everyone rips each other off. Today's acts rip off the older ones, the older classic rock guitar gods ripped off the jazz greats, the jazz greats ripped off both the blues greats and off classical, the blues greats ripped off Africa, etc. If you want to be a popular band, why wouldn't you just completely mimic the best pop acts ever: The Beatles (Oasis), Michael Jackson (Justin Timberlake), Led Zeppelin (Wolfmother)?

Lest I digress. The point being is that within the past 6 years, new music went through a revival of late 70's to mid 80's post-punk, new-wave, and glam-funk. MY QUESTION: WHAT WILL BE THE NEXT OLDER MUSICAL STYLE OR GROUP TO GO THROUGH A RESURGENCE IN CONTEMPORARY MUSIC?

In two years who will be re-idolized? Which older bands will it be suddenly cool to not have thrown out from your musical collection? Look into your crystal balls... where is music heading?

I personally think that the Sunset Strip acts (GNR, Poison, Quiet Riot, etc) will make a big comeback in the rock scene. I also see psychadelics making a comeback and in two years it may be really hip to re-break out your Grateful Dead 1977 tour shirt when going to your favorite Brooklyn dive. I foresee some douchy art-rock band being cheesy enough to rip off Devo (or another outlandish stage performance) and making a killing from it. Reggae sticks its nappy head into the music scene every few years - and we really haven't had any good bands since Sublime that utilized reggae well. Except Shaggy of course.

Anyway, let me know what you think. After we all have submitted our ideas... let's make an experiment out of forcing our opinions on the rest of the world. I guarantee that we can convince people that it was a big mistake to have thrown away their Ace of Base merchandise. Normies are dumb.

I Hung Out With Sonic Youth Last Night

That's right Feldheimians, yours truly was backstage chillin with one of the most important bands of our generation. They played the Wiltern last night, and I got to go because I am the newly appointed Production Coordinator for Project Moonshine. That means I burn dvd's and sit and watch my former roommate Mike edit and say "yeah man, that right there, that right there is fucking sic."

More about Project Moonshine here.

Anyways, Project Moonshine is doing a documentary on Sonic Youth, and we were there to interview Kim Gordon, seen below. I sat on the floor in the corner while the interview moved along....it proved to be quite an interesting experience. Kim is very quiet, soft spoken, which you cant really assume from seeing their live performance.



Also got a chance to meet Thurston Moore, my personal favorite Sonic Youthian, and he was a cool guy, the only one of them that was truly animated backstage and onstage.



Anyways....the show was great, and they are great. They have a great sound, great tone, and really fucked up tunings. I could write a more in-depth review of this, but I know that I'm just going to talk to Ritter about it later on, and Angela is busy doing html.

All in all backstage at Sonic Youth is not as exciting as you would assume, and I'm sure it was very muchso lots cooler two decades ago. They are not intimidating, they are not gods, they are just normal people who figured out a sound and worked at it. That's all it is folks. You want to be a rock star? Figure out a sound, work on it. If your talented/disciplined enough, you will make it. That's the fucking equation, there's no need to buy a book.

Book's are for posers, cd's are for losers.......FLAC IS THE FUTURE.

LONG LIVE JAFAR!!!

It's That Time Again

September, I think, was a good month for Feldheim.

Although we all knew it was inevitable, we had no idea how soon Feldheim facelift would occur.

Jafar has been posting like a madman.

DJ Ciltorati finally found her name.

Ritter has proven he does nothing all day.

But alas, we mourn the death of Woody. He will be sorely missed. Crap like "Clap Your Hands Say Yeah," however, will not. Perhaps if those asshats could sing or play their instruments, maybe.


Anyhoo, with Feldheim Day rapidly approaching, I'd like to hear some thoughts on White Pony Disc one, since the Feldheim has been mum on the topic. A furor was raised on the topic of double discs, but nearly nothing on the music itself. I must say, I'm getting into some of the indie stuff, but what do you hippies think of the metal? Not as Metal as you thought? writing it off as crap?

Wait, what?

What's that you say? you didn't even listen to it? well kiss my ass you hipster bastards. You are missing out on greatness.

Good thing we got a week and a bit until disc two drops.

Beck & Ass Kicking

I want to kick Beck's ass.

I'm not sure what it is. I think if you are a scientologist and you get married and have a kid you turn lame. Well, Beck, put on a performance last night @ the element in Hollywood. About 500 people were there, one among them was I, representing Iran and everything that is cool in this town.

First off, here's Beck's wife:



Secondly, here's Beck:


Thirdly, here's Beck's kid:




Fourthly, i would like to state that I am a Beck fan. Particularly of Banjo Story, Midnite Vultures, Mutations, and Sea Change.

I think his new ish is realtively boring.

No stage presence, no charisma, no confidence. His band, while very talented musically, came of as LA hispters that I wanted to fight. Actually, the show sounded good, he sounded good, the band sounded good, but they were just annoying and the fact that Beck wasn't into it ruined it for me. The main thing was my feeling of animosity, personally, towards Beck, which is a rare thing for me......kinda.

The new songs have great moments, but it's a lot of the same guero crap..at least live.

I'm done wasting my time on this. Have a nice day.

Bollywood Gangsta Breakdown. Angela Claims to be The White Usher......well here is where Usha got dem moves frum!!!! ALLALALALALALALLALA

Knife......OH YEAH!! Give me MORE KNIFE!!! OK!!! YEAH!!!

Birdman

The Birdman came to LA last night, and The Birdman proceeded to kick everyones ass. Andrew Bird is officially the fucking man. Lunchbox and I were witness to his tremendous talents and stood, mouths gaping at the birdman, while the hipsters around us "folded into themselves."

I just want to emphasize how ridiculous he is. If you haven't listened to his latest album, Andrew Bird & The Mysterious Production of Eggs, then you are ridiculous. It was Ritter's first album post.



So yes, go forth, listen, and definitely pay him a visit when he plays a town near you. Angela, I think he's hitting up Nairobi for a special Christmas show. So yeah, that's it.......just trust me on this one. If not, trust Ritter...he'll tell you the same thing but with better jokes.

These folks are much geekier than I

I guess the great thing about and the problem with Feldheim is the jew factor. 4/3. Jesus.

Guess we didn't calculate those odds.

Thing is, Jews are inherently lazy.

But last.fm solves that.

It uploads your tracks automatically.

See?

Here's what I've bene listening to.



Is this the dying wish of the big red box? I hope not. But at least it doesn't take much effort.

Jafar Feldheim Nomination

I would like to formally declare my first nomination for the Feldheim. I nominate David Louis Pomeranz to join our prestigious group.

What makes Dave so qualified to join Feldheim?

Dave went to Cornell.
Dave took Judo at Cornell.
Dave was valedictorian of his high school.
Dave climbs rocks.
Dave plays instruments.
Dave is an engineer.
Dave is currently applying to med school.
Dave has a marshall and a mesa.
Dave loves NIN.
In his free time, Dave makes rope from his chest hair, and knifes from the teeth of baby seals.
Dave played chess against Chuck Norris.
Dave has a Chuck Norris poster.
Dave is Chuck Norris.



Seriously though, you all know Dave, you all know how elitist Dave is/can be/maybe one day will be…..and his credentials back it up. Since we have a couple hotelies, a soon to be lawyer, and a Persian, I figured we would be more well rounded with an engineer that currently works in medicine. Dave researches cool diseases, which means he has new material for jokes. He is the ideal candidate for anything the Feldheim may become, as well as what it is today. We need some new blood, and last I checked Dav’s T-Cell count was strong.

Strong like bull.

Niiiice!!

First Guest Feldheim Post

Saw this on TinyMixTapes and wanted to share. It's posted by can:


Steve Irwin, I Wish You Could Have Seen This: Animal Collective Tour Australia

This is your brain:

Why has everyone started to like all my favorite bands? Is it because they're too "accessible"? Are their T-shirts that cool? Were they on some magazine cover? Are they on the internet? Am I out of the loop? Shitttttttttt. Maybe I should trade in these Converse for some more obscure shoes. Like some skater shoes. Yeahhhh... And maybe I'll sell this band shirt for some sweet used shirt. Or something striped. And tight. Maybe flannel. Shit, my parents didn't give me enough money for clothes AND records this week. Fuck. God I love fist-pumping. I'm so hardcore. Feedback gets me off. Noise better not go anymore mainstream or I'll have to start listening to silence again. Or those '50s girl-pop bands. I can't stand going to a huge venue for a band that I knew about when they were still playing five-dollar clubs. Fuck them for not coming to my hometown. Promotion for shows is lame. Touring sucks. Recording is so passé. DIY man. It's the postmodern no-wave. Since when are shows fashion shows? I don't think about what I'm going to wear for when I go out. I just pick whatever filthy, ragged, inconspicuous, random-ass piece of clothing with holes in it to wear because I'm lazy. I wish my parents would give me more fucking money.

This is your brain on drugs:

Dude, since when do people in Australia listen to Animal Collective? What's that about the toilets there? You see different stars, you say? The winter is in the summer? The moon is on its side? 18+ shows?! What the fuckkkkkkkk? Come back to America, Animals, where the grass is green and the ladies fair. Where crickets chirp late and people won't stare.

Stop bringing your camera to shows:

11.03.06 – Brisbane, Australia – The Zoo (18+)
11.04.06 – Sydney Australia – Newtown (18+)
11.06.06 – Melbourne, Australia – The Corner Hotel (18+)
11.08.06 – Auckland, New Zealand – Kings Arm
11.09.06 – Wellington, New Zealand – Indigo Bar

A movie -- but there's singing

Check out this trailer: http://www.catass.com/toonces/toonces7.jpg
Thought provoking to say the least. But also funny to me because they've adapted a cheer we used ot sing at jewish kid summer camp and they substitute the word Jesus for spirit.

Banksy and Paris

I think this has a bit to do with music. However, it's more to do with reliving college, mostly so we can remember egging and homer simpson.

Oh. And to boost my technorati ranking.

Pathetic, I know. But I think it's a good read

Banksy, Homer, and Paris

Take It Back Angela....Take It Back Twice

Angela recently proclaimed:

"Basically anything can happen to group over the course of its existence. I think, though, the the thing that's agreeable is whenever a double disc is released, down the tubes the band goes."

Well, I beg to differ. Although (s)he raises some valid points and some valid examples - this is not always the case. Sure, a double disc does take a lot out of a band - it is a very significant amount of pressure, and quite a feat.

In this day and age the doube disc is a rarity. Reserved more for live albums, record companies frown on the double album. Why sell a double album, when we can sell two albums 6 months apart and make more cash money. Margins baby!!

System of a Down, (whom I love), released their last two albums six months apart. It should have been a double album.

Kid A and Amnesiac, also released within a year.......and recorded during the same time.......well, should it have been a double album?

Kid A is probably my favorite album of all time, but man, that would have been quite a thing if it were a double album. At the same time, I don't know if it would of had the same effect. I always thought Capitol wouldn't allow it.

Moving on......let me address the first artist to ever release a double album.



Blonde on Blonde. Dylan goes electric, Dylan pisses off everyone, Dylan is Dylan. Released in 1966 - Dylan came out swinging. Needless to say that Dylan's career has not gone down the tube, as he has recently topped the charts with Modern Times. Plus, Hard Rain and Desire both came out in 1976.

Ok, not good enough?

What about I throw some Zappa action your way.....yeah, that guy who wrote over 60 albums in his lifetime.



Freak Out! - Arguably the first double album that is also a concept album. Seeing how his first album is a double album, I don't think I need to provide any more evidence.

I think that a double album takes a lot out of a band, like the white album did with the beatles...but keep in mind that Abbey Road and Yellow Submarine came out after The White Album. Also, notable mention, the White Album was the first double album to ever hit #1 on the charts.

Pop Quiz, can anyone here name the first Triple Album released? Scroll Down for the answer.....


















All Things Must Pass by George Harrison

Also, this album is right up there with any other Beatles solo work. I would go so far as to call it a masterpiece.

So yes and no. Double albums can be the downfall of many a great band. It could be the last hurrah, it could be the 12th round knockout, but it could also be the exact opposite. There are few certainties in music.

Plus, Miles Davis released four double albums in five years. But yeah, three of those were live albums. I'm pretty sure he even recorded two double discs in one day.

That's 4 discs in 24 hours for all you hotelies.

Feldheim Debate Via Video

Besides the utter brilliance of what is being achieved here, there lies a greater question. Has the evolution of dance been a positive one? Witnessing white kids shake their moneymaker at Cornell was bad enough, until Ritter and I visited the Circle Bar last night. When was the greatest period of dance? Is dance dead? Is dance doomed?

Crush!!

I'll Cut You So Bad....You'll Wish.....You'll Wish I Didn't Cut You So Bad

The Knife. Or.....Tha Knife for those of you who are "In the know." (Or should I say..."In Tha Know").

Who is The Knife? Well, let the Feldheim spit some knowledge on your face. See, if someone were to spit on the faces of Karin Dreijer Andersson and Olof Dreijer they wouldn't really care, because they tend to wear masks. Cool masks though, fucking superkewl masks.....I wonder if that goes hand in hand with being Swedish.

This brother sister duo has been pumping out electronic hits since 1999, and well, they've only gotten better as time has progressed. Sweden, in essence, has been progressing rather nicely since 1999. It's a country that I respect simply because I love Swedish bands. It all started with Refused. If any of you haven't listened to The Shape Of Punk To Come, well, then you simply haven't listened to one of the most poignant and significant albums of the past 30 years. That once in a lifetime album changed everything for me, and for that, I salute the Swedes. I also salute the Icelandic bands. Why? Cuz their badass. Any country that spits out Artists like Sigur Ros and Bjork demands respect. Throw in one of my favorite authors of all time, Halldór Kiljan Laxness, and well fuck - I salute you. Lunchbox...I've been waiting for you to ask me to rank the top 5 countries for their musical contributions to the world (minus USA and GB)

Getting back to The Knife....well, their awesome. Their music is awesome and they are awesome. Oh, what?, substantiate my statement? Well, how's this for awesome: When they won the grammi for best pop group of 2003 - instead of attending themselves, they had their buddies in another band dress up as gorillas and go. Who would have thought that our own Angela and Biff would unkowingly incorporate a gorilla into a live act one year later?? Is there a common thread of awesomeness here?

What? Not good enough? Well here. This video kicks ass, in a kick ass kind of way. Some of you may know this song from fellow Swedish musician Jose Gonzalez's cover.

Anyways, the knife are awesome, I can't wait to see them live in November, they have incredible beats, they build great sonic landscapes, and they are just so cool it makes me tingle inside. Props to the Swedes, and props to the beats. It's great driving music. Angela, speaking of driving......how fast do those elephants go, and how often do you have to pull over to the side of the highlands for them to take, well, elephant sized dumps? My last point:

The Knife are elephant sized dumps of goodness that will saturate your brain and electronically lubricate your neurons and synapses with awesomeness of the 8th dimension. Listen to it, bath in it, love it, live it, drive it, smack it, lick it, touch it, glow under it, pull it, grab it, and FEEL IT.

Calling All Feldheimers -- I need your creative input

In case you didn't think it was possible for Toonces to get any cooler wait to you hear this. I'm the new host of Trivia Night (which I think I'm going to call quiz night to pay tribute to the Brits) at my favorite Bar in Minneapolis -- proof that networking pays off. So now what I need is a DJ name (I'd like to do better than the obvious DJ Toonz) sooner than I thought I would and all the pressure has resulted in a creative block and I've got nothing. A plethera of monickers, yet none seem quite right. I think It's because a nickname isn't really omething you can give yourself, but instead must evolve from your interactions among friends.

So fellow feldheim members I implore you (although I'm not sure that's really the proper use of the word as I'm not looking for mercy() HELP ME FIND MY DJ NAME! It is my destiny! The best ones in my opinion arise out of mockery so be ruthless if you must.

Grab Bag

I think that the term "Genre-Defying" has become so overused in modern music writing to the point where it has been rendered relatively meaningless. Aristotle, here used as the fountainhead of Ancient Greek philosophy and ingenuity, decreed that the world must be organized, and it is essentially one of the strives of human nature to attempt to classify our world. Since then, humans have struggled to group, organize, separate, and distinguish between various sets and subsets of our world.

Music has been no exception. We simply love defining genres of music, as music defines who we are people. I like rock and roll, I like hip-hop, I like R&B, etc. What is funny to me, is how non-disciplined we are in our levels of classification. The style of "classical music" has spanned four centuries, several continents, and countless technological and stylistic changes. Nevertheless, we tend to ignore the drastic differences (baroque, romantic, chamber, concerto, etc.) and tend to to group everything as simply "classical." Conversely, we pick apart modern music to the point where simply having an electronic snare drum (as opposed to an organic one) can be the difference between alt-country and rockabilly. At this point, most Americans classify ALL music that is indigenous to a foreign country as "world music." However, we have a tough time determining if something is post-punk, electroclash, lo-fi, shoegaze, noise rock, or math rock; depending upon what New York City borough originated the music.

Anyway, I had originally wanted to write that the albums I am putting up are genre-defying, but after realizing the ridiculousness of that notion, just decided to put up a few of my favorite albums that meld different established musical styles.

"Acme," by The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion. I imagine that Jon Spencer suffered from G-Love Syndrome. There is no reason that G-Love shouldn't have been the biggest thing in music. Soulful white guy from Philly - blending blues and hip hop (hell he helped discover Jack Johnson). Why would he not get due respect outside of white suburbanites, and yet Beck comes to define the late 90's with "Odelay?" Anyway, I listened to Jon Spencer in high-school and still like him today. He is a blues artist at heart, that often uses hip-hop beats, punk riffs, etc. to create a big mish-mash of fun music. The songwriting on this 1999 album is ok, and if anything I am more curious to see who here had known of him before (as my group of friends in high school loved this guy).

"Thank you For Giving Me Your Valuable Time," by Kaada. John Kaada is a Norwegian DJ who is probably best known for collaborating with Mike Patton. He is a DJ in the sampling, cut-n-paste sense who has a hard-on for old Americana. For whatever reason I have read several comparisons between him and Yann Tiersen (the French composer who did that piano song from Amelie) which I don't really see. If anything, I see him as more cohesive than the Real Tuesday Weld and more fun than the Cinematic Orchestra (if you don't know these bands let me know and I will put them up). This 2001 album is fun.

"Sleep" by DJ Olive. A one song CD that I never actually listened to all the way through. DJ Olive is a Brookyln based sampling artist who made this CD specifically as a sleeping aid. Therefore, I find that quite ironic that at a musician puts in so much time and effort to create a piece that (if he succeeds in his art) is not meant to be listened to. Weird. Anyway, it's ambient and it helps me sleep. I am putting this up here if anyone else needs something to help them sleep.

Enjoy. Let me know what you think. Happy Labor Day!

Comic relief - in case you feel like raving

Apologies for missing the month of august, but it being the first sunday of september I'm posting right on time and present you with two albums.

The first: a compilation CD entitled Female Artists of the 60s. On the one hand yes I thought it would be kind of funny, but yesterday I saw a play entitled "The Real Thing" that started to make me think a bit about what it was the inspired the Feldheim in the first place: snobbery and elitism. The play is set in the early 80s and a subplot in the play involves the protagonist having to come up with his 8 all time great songs he would take with him to a desert island. The protagonist is a playwright, considers himself to be an intellectual and is embarrassed by the fact the music he loves is pop music from his youth, the same era as the songs on this album. He's embarrassed because he thinks that he should like more serious music instead. "Oldies" have always been a bit if a guilty pleasure of mine. Growing up I was always listen to them because my dad would play them in the car and it just kind of stuck. So I post female artists of the 60s curious as to what you all think. Do you respect this music? Do you think enjoying it is comparable to taking pleasure in the musical stylings of today's pop princesses? Or does it simply need to be restricted to certain settings like the soundtracks of formulaic big budget romantic comedies? I don't have a problem reconciling my enjoyment of the songs on this album with calling myself part of the listening elite. In fact I would go so far as to say that it's the diversity of genres in my musical collection which in part elevates me into that category.

Moving on: I've also posted DJ Baby Anne's Dark Side of the Boom. I like to listen to this album when I'm studying or walking or cooking, it's probably also good for driving. But really this album was most likely not designed to provide a backdrop to any of those activities but instead for some serious rocking out. She also falls into the category of "a chick with turntables" and if I'm not mistaken a couple of your comments to a previous post of mine indicated that you think that's really hot.