Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Album Artwork of our Generation

Ritter has posited another open ended question regarding our generation:

"We grew up having idolized the album covers of a previous generation. Through Spencer's posters, VH1 re-runs, and even Simpson's throwbacks, much album art of our parents' generation is commonplace and revered for us. Abbey Road, Dark Side of the Moon, Are You Experienced, Sgt. Pepper's, Houses of the Holy, The Rolling Stones lips, Morrison Hotel, and (gasp!) even the Steve Miller Band's Greatest Hits album art have all graced the walls of my adolescent bedroom and are easily recognizable.

That poses the question, what has been some of the most iconic album art of our generation? I don't care if the music associated with the album art is rap or punk or whatever; but what album covers will our children learn to instantly associate with our generation and revere? I don't necessarily need to hear from you Woody, oh my kids will have Radiohead posters all over their walls because I am going to expose them to good music or else I'll smack the shit out of them like a good Jewish father, blah blah.

You know what, let's specify the question to the most enduring album art that originated within the past 10 years (thus excluding Nevermind, The Chronic, Doggystyle, Midnight Maurauders, Get a Grip, White Trash Two Heebs and a Bean, Dookie, Weezer Blue, River of Dreams, Janet, The Bends, Anything from Weird Al, Master of Puppets, or the eternal psuedo-hippie art of When I Woke.

What do you think? Will the artwork of Weathered triumph twenty years from now like Wish You Were Here?"

Now I think Our recently deceased comic actor pal has some interesting suggestions. Of course Weezer, The River of Dreams, Nevermind, Dookie, and The Chronic, but as great as those are, Smash with it's glowing Skeleton is undoubtedly up there. Deftones' adrenaline, Korn's self titled, Pearl Jam's Ten, STP's Purple are equally as iconic. But to really pick one, is tough. At first, I thought Meat Loaf's Bat out of Hell II: Back in to Hell. But maybe that's just me.

I would have to go with Aerosmith's Get a Grip. Sure, this band was actually form our parents' generation, but I guarantee we all ahd this album. Yes, even diverse as the feldheim is, I think everyone owned it. The misaligned and uneven font is how we would deface out text books. And a piercing. If our generation isn'a bout piercings, tell that to this guy. The image was shocking as well as funny. Kind of like us.

whatchu got?

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Indie-Rock Hypothesis

Well, this is my first actual post to the Feldheim (at least not facilitated by Lansbury [which I suppose makes you rather obsolete now, doesn't it bitch?]), so please understand the lack of pictures and superfluous hyperlinks. Anyway, I would like to post a quick theorem regarding the current state of Indie-Rock andRoll and the whole hipster culture in general, and then gauge the Feldheim's reaction. Simply stated:

I believe that Indie-Rock and Roll and its current corresponding 'hipster' culture is an analogous fad to the jam-rock/hippie culture trend of the mid-90's to early 2000's.

Now whereas this may not necessarily seem like a controversial comment, think of it this way- I am trying to say that these guys are just like these guys. Now, whereas this may please some members of the Feldheim (those that had spent their formative high-school years smoking pot, trading tapes, playing hackey-sack, and feeling incredulous that the rest of their generation listened to shitty music) it is sure to inflame the opinions of some members (those that had spent their formative high-school years smoking pot, sweating power chords, dying their hair, and feeling incredulous that the rest of their generation listened to shitty music). Not to mention that I am sure that there are those here in the Feldheim who could absolutely give a shit and are currently wondering to themselves how it is possible that Ritter can afford to take time from his busy work-schedule to write such an inane rant.

"Yeah, but Ritter... that is so stupid, I mean Indie-Rock is alternative and Dispatch was never alternative... They were just, you know, like pussy. LOL! Besides, back in the mid-90's they had Indie-Rock like Pavement and Sonic Youth and Yo La Tengo... that's what Indie-Rock's roots are.. LOL!!! ;-)"

First of all, I find it very hard to believe that any of you in the Feldheim actually listened to Yo La Tengo in the 90's (and probably just downloaded it from Napster after the fact when you got to college and wanted to fill out your musical inventory). And Yes, I am very well aware of the "history" of this made up style of music, what I am trying to say is that if you go to a high-school now (I am an expert at going to high schools now by the way, especially since I've grown my mustache) you find those same pretentious fucks that thought they were too good to listen to Third-Eye Blind on the radio and instead stuck with the drifting, noodling of Moe., Leftover Salmon, and The String Cheese Incident are the same pretentious fucks that now think they are too good to listen to The Killers and instead stick with 'totally innovative' sound of The Fiery Furnaces, M.I.A., and !!!.

Think about it, they were all turned on to this music by their older brothers and walk around with their kind-of-long hair, I-swear-its-actually-vintage-t-shirts, and a smug sense of musical superiority and try to out do one another of how much more obscure they can get into their respective genres. Just as jam-rock went mainstream in the 90's and then fizzled out (frat boys chilling at Dave Matthews and Guster concerts), look what is happening to your idolized "Indie" rock with every high-school cheerleader with a Karen O haircut is singing Postal Service and Deathcab while their meathead, Guido boyfriends are humming White Stripes baselines, while blasting Gnarles Barkely from their parents' Altima, while bringing over the Garden State DVD so they can have awkward, high-school, basement sex (which I am still good at by the way).

"Well yeah but Ritter, what about Beck and Radiohead? They were alternative and not jammy in the 90's and are really what the 90's Indie kids listened to ~snarf snarf~"

What about Beck and Radiohead? Yes, they were two amazing musical acts that completely innovated and changed the 90's, but if you still think that those two acts are "Indie" well then take off your Hyper-Color and join 2006.

Fuck, I forgot what I was talking about. Anyway, my point still stands: In SAT VERBAL Section Terms: The snobbery and image of the Pitchfork Music Festival:2006 as The snobbery and image of the Phish parking lot:1998.

Fire at will.

Monday, June 12, 2006

How Frankenstein Lost Control of His Monster

Macuau, it's kinda like atlantic city. At night the, the bright lights hide it's, uh, character.

Strangely enough, it seems to have been around for ever and still hasn't found it's identity.

Like the jewish people.


But all this internationalitynization has got me thinking. Of what the feldheim could be.

Right now it's a sewer, a combination of multiple dumps from multiple places all going in one direction. But it could be so much more.

With a little help from my friends.

First is the organization of the blog. I think Ritter has some fantastic ideas, that have been forwarded on, but I can't quite figure out how to do it.

You are now all administrators of Feldheim. Let's see if we can't make this a little better together.

Of course, after we get this thing good enough to go, we can start talking about new invites. I think we should expand this thing rapidly, but to avoid the inevitable cluster fuck of growing too big for our britches I think we should continue with the soft opening for now.

However, when in advance of the new guests, I would like to nominate the first new member. this young lady would be a wonderful addition to the feldheim. The first three band alone are reason enough. Any one else have nominations? I think we're looking for real winners.

I wanna push you a-round.

Well ah will.

Well ah will

Friday, June 09, 2006

What rhymes with, 'Our Generation's Defining Album?'

Interesting topic indeed. I agree, Jafar, Weezer was a great album. Always one of my personal favorites. But I think our generation is still defining itself.

So why not pick a disc that's by a member?


I have chosen to write my piece in the style of Jurrassic five to show my influcence from black people.

So I must give respect to brit Jamie Culllum,
his tunes are somber, sweet; but never sullen
resurrection of jazz, spectacle of youth,
though he covers dean martin, he ain’t a spoof.
It's a takes a bad motherfucker to do Radiohead,
but jamie tackles the task with a masterly intent.
Take a listen, my friends, you won't regret
this album takes you down like major credit card debt.

Defining Album of Our Generation

Dave Matthews Band - Under Table and Dreaming.

Released in 1994, I encounter people ages 22-26 on a regular basis who still love the DMB. I didn't like it then, nor do I like it now, but one cannot ignore the culture that grew up around this entity and was so prevalent during our adolescence.

46 words.

YO, Fuck Eminem.

Seriously Yo, The White Kid from PA (NSFW!) picks the White Rapper to represent the White Crew. Eminem is garbage. The only thing he defined was White Trash.

I'm going to go with Weezer - "The Blue Album." Released May 10, 1994. Which makes us all around 15 years old. Our Generation was defined by American Alternative Rock.

Lansbury, I'm waiting for your support on this one.
I am taking a quick break from work and am going to ask a quick question (opinion poll) for the group: WHAT IS THE DEFINING ALBUM OF OUR GENERATION? By generation I mean people from all races, all parts of the United States, between the ages of 22 and 26. Also, I said DEFINING, not best, or most influential, or whatever.

What album best defines us? Please pick ONLY ONE album, and you are allowed to justify your selection with only 50 WORDS (word count will be in effect). This to avoid the pussy (inevitably Ritter) move of beating around the bush and saying something to the effect of "Well, it is so hard to pick just ONE album because there are so many different people and blah blah blah I am big freaking douchebag who can't pull the testicles out of my shorts and only say one album and stick to it..."

The RITTER selection:

The Marshall Mathers LP by Eminem. JUSTIFICATION: Like it or not our generation has been completely influenced and defined by black culture. This album was the most accessible to people of all races, education levels, and socio-economic classes that best summarized our collective disgust for authority- which is really the most binding feature of our generation. (49 words)

Show me what you got (NSFW)!!

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Where someone says 'fuck me,' someone else says 'okay'

As many of you know, when it comes to culture -- movies and music in particular--I'm a pretentious fuck. I'm probably (well, definitely, but I'll say probably just to be a bit modest) going to be filling that huge, filthy Feldheim box with a c(h)ock full of the best music you've ever sampled. It won't be whineyand it won't sound like fucking Iggy Pop.

I picked this first album because its in in my top 3 so far for this year and its been playing on my iPod and in my head for the past two months after supplanting the album I'm gonna review next. This album isn't pretentious, like my taste, but it is brilliant. Spencer Krug is the lead singer of Sunset Rubdown, a role he shares in another band of his that some of you may be familiar with: Wolf Parade. Krug's voice is haunting, with a drunken Bowie tinge to it that can be both forceful and tender at the same time.

Shut I'm Dreaming is dark and somber at times and triumphant at others, a mixture of guitar and keyboard driven tunes with accordions, glockenspiels and xylophones all thrown in—all in all its lovely. My suggestion is to listen to it at least twice because it took me two-plus listens for both Dark Side of the Moon and Kid A to catch on—not to say this is quite on that level, but its still fucking dope.

My next box installment will be from another man who is also a member of another critically acclaimed indie band and he's probably the best songwriter out there right now. That posting will be twice as long as this because there will undoubtedly be a Dylan discussion thrown in--yeah, he's that good. Till then I'll just try to continue making fun of as many of you as possible. Keep those stereotypes coming!

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

So today Is 06.06.06.

You'd think I'd post about a slipknot album or something. Perhaps Ozzy Osbourne? No, that's not devil music. Marilyn Manson? Not even.

In the highly under-rated Adam Sandler film Little Nicky, Sandler's character denouces Ozzy's satanism by play a chicago record backwards revealing satanic messages.

Perhaps the Devil is where we least expect it in our music. So in honor of the devil's day, I am offering a special feldheim post, quite possibly the most satanic album ever made:

Lie: the Love and Terror Cult

I actually think you're gonna like this album: It's rife with balladry, psychadelic imagery, and even a little hippie sensibility.

Plus it's a shitty recording released in 1968 which should immediately entice at least 4 of the Feldheim Seven. "Cease to Exist" is actually a cover of the beach boys tune, "never Learn Not to Love, an numerous artists have sampled, referenced, and covered many of the tracks of this most heinously devilish disc.

But seriously, a cover of the Beach Boys? What makes this disc so bad?

Nothing, really I guess......LTLTC is a folk recording. It's not the greatest of folk, the songs have an eerie despondent plague, yet an undeniable buoyant clarity.

It's somehow strangely strangely enjoyable.

I just wouldn't play it backwards.....

Through the satanism, please remember:

John Basedow supports Feldheim.

"With Feldheim Made Simple™, only 10 minutes a day can change your musical life!"

—John Basedow, Fitness extraordinaire

Monday, June 05, 2006

New Avatar for Osama

OK. So apparently there's some bruhaha over Osama's picture. Perhaps, it was hasty* decision.

I figured since I was representing myself as an 80 year old british lady........

So now I'd like to propose some less, uh, hasty avatars.

I think these really expand the stereotype we have towards our sand-loving, black-gold mining, friends.

I vote for Jafar.

And in light of our the new avatar choice for Osama, I think we should review one other member's alter ego:

fuck it. we'll just stick with Woody.

*read: racist.

The Eraser

The Kingdom of Great Britainwas established in 1707 as a unified political entity. Radiohead became a musical entity in the year 1986. A quintet hailing from a land known as Oxfordshire, fronted by a tiny man named Thom. Falling under the spell of The Pixies and R.E.M., the tiny man Thom would prepare his crusade against all that is mediocre in his quest to progress and evolve musically.

From Pablo Honey to Hail to the Thief, Radiohead is a band of many faces. Their current studio resembles a NASA control room with various synths and samplers permeating their surroundings.

A man who once worked as an orderly in a mental institute, and a man who received five operations in his first five years due to a paralyzed left eye, Thom may be against globalization, but his music has proven to bring the world together. Becoming one of the biggest and most successful bands that ever graced a stage, it's almost a given that anyone who knows anything about popular musical composition loves Radiohead. It is a perquisite for an elitist engaging in a musical conversation. (Except in Willamsburg Brooklyn, where it’s not cool to love Thom, because then you might as well live in the East Village)

The constant evolution of Radiohead has given them a sense of urgency. A band that takes risks, but never seems to fail. The latest risk is Thom Yorke's "solo" album, "The Eraser." Produced by the "sixth member of Radiohead," Nigel Goodrich, the album continues the electronic emphasis of Radiohead.

Providing a backdrop for your listening, I leave you to make your judgments regarding the album. I'd be happy to share my thoughts regarding the album, but maybe after you decide for yourself. I will say this though; it's probably better than whatever you are currently listening to. The album will officially be released on July 11th, and at that time I will repost, so that the official album will be on the Feldheim. I just figured I would add to our elitism by posting an album before it comes out. That way we can engage in conversations that go like this:


"bro, did you hear Thom Yorke is releasing a solo album, it comes out in little over a month."

Feldheim Elitist:

"it's a great album, I really feel that Nigel did a great job producing this one, the album is beginning to feel like my own epidermis, I was surprised to see that Nigel laid off the reverb on the vocals, and more surprised that Thom let him. It seems that after all these years, the chemistry those studio rats have built has inexorably led them to make such an album. I think they used an 808 on cymbal rush, but knowing Thom, it's probably some custom casio."



* I just wanted to point out that I resent the symbolic nature of the picture that represents me on the Feldheim. That being stated, the overly successful comedic nature of the picture leaves me with no choice but to accept this picture as my representation. I in no way support any acts of violence in the name of any silly religion. I in no way support the wearing of towels on one’s head. Also, I am from Iran, not Saudi Arabia. That being said.........Death to all Infidels!!!!

Sunday, June 04, 2006

For the Feldheim: Witching Hour

No, Witching Hour was not released in 1986, although one of Ladyton's biggest influences The Pet Shop Boys did have some big hits around that time. I'm sorry to disappoint, but i just figured that some classic new wave album is what you were all expecting from me. While i think the Felheim is an excellent forum to poke fun at ourselves and others i think it should also be about personal growth. This is Ladytron's third album and i think it is their best.

My favorite tracks are #2 and #11. I saw them perform live at First Avenue, a Minneapolis music venue that is also a local landmark because of its association with the artist formally known as the artist formally known as prince. The band has two female vocalists with awesome voices, the one who sings lead on the two tracks I've mentioned i find her voice particularly intoxicating.

Please explain why Screech is more likely to post an album that dates back to high school that i am?

I'll leave you with this: enjoy!

and Long live the Feldheim!

Blog This!: Ta Det Lugnt & Andrew Bird and the Mysterious Production of Eggs

My decision to do two, indie-hipster albums as my first submission to the Feldheim was not necessarily based upon stylistic or cultural influence in as much as technical necessity. You see, my Macintosh G4 PowerBook actually crashed, much to my shock, surprise, and inconvenience (NSFW!). Not to mention to Lansbury's maligned indifference*. Regardless, I did not have the luxury to choose from my entire vault of musical gems, but only from the few hard-compact-discs I still keep with me. That being said, I apologize for having to preface my first submission with excuses, but I am trying to put my decision(s) into proper perspective.

Dungen: "Ta Det Lugnt." Dungen is a Swedish band that I honestly do not know much about, nor do I have the time or energy to research them right now. After all, I have more important things to do with my time (such as write witty, cynical blog entries explaining how I do not have time to research [how ironic!]).

Regardless, I had a friend from High School send me this CD randomly, which was interesting because I had happened to walk by their tent during the Coachella festival a few weeks ago (how serendipitous!). I find the CD to be very interesting, difficult to classify, and impossible to understand (after all, all of the lyrics are in Swedish [how exotic!]).

The songs are long, guitar and melody driven, and I'm not sure if it reminds me more of the recent Indie-rock opusi (my new plural for opus) or the monster-ballads from late 80's, early 90's hair bands. Regardless, I think that it makes for fun-driving music and if anything it gives me an idea for a new country that I wish for my country to invade.

Andrew Bird: "Andrew Bird and the Mysterious Production of Eggs." I first heard of this band when I was doing my usual year-end-read-up-on-everyone's-top-albums-of-the-year-list-like-the-impressionable-piece-of-shit-I-am Internet surfing, and saw this album appear on multiple lists, including the Number One album of the year for the Too-Cool-For-School Prefix Mag. I had heard some random songs here and there, but did not fully appreciate the CD until our dear friend, and fellow Feldheimite Osama (Good Allah Lansbury, couldn't you have picked a different Arab stereotype for an avatar) lent it to me.

During a late-night drive from Pasadena to West Los Angeles, I got lost in the minimalist guitar, mellow voice, impressive whistling, and passionate violin (I also realized that I was indeed gay). The CD reminds me of being lost in an Arizona desert with some good friends and good drugs, before somehow winding up at a trendy Brooklyn bar and then seeing Andrew Bird play live.

So, indeed I chose TWO CD's just because I suffer from first-day-of-school-what-to-wear syndrome. It is my first impression, and I did not know if I wanted to front the strong, complex, power chord RITTER, or the mellow, chill, thought-provoking RITTER. I cannot wait to see what you all decided to put in the Feldheim. So, enjoy, please let me know what you think, and I hope that you all have a wonderful month.

*editors note: the hard drive crashed. Not the Mac. Always back up your data.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

What Ever Happened to My Rock & Roll?

Why did I choose Coheed and Cambria's epic new album for my inaugural Feldheim submission? Quite simply, it been dominating my playlist since I bought it*.

Good Apollo I'm Burning Star IV, Volume One: From Fear Through The Eyes of Madness not only has one of the greatest° album title in years, but features the long lost art of swooping, dueling guitars; patient enough to make Roger Waters and David Gilmour say, "man, speed it up a bit...we ain't got all day!"

Plus each song is so over dubbed, distorted guitars begin to sound like orchestras^. And the vocals have so many tracks it's tough to keep count.

OK, I gotta admit on first listen they are bit annoying. It hindered my acceptance for sure.

But goddamn are they distinctive! Surely lead singer Claudio Sanchez will be placed in the ranks of Geddy Lee, Bon Scott, Steven Tyler, and Clay Aikens.

Finally, I think this disc marks a return to rock and roll. From the whiniest of screamo, (sorry Mr BinLaden), the wussiest of folk rock (regrets, Mr Ritter), and the most atonal of indie (apologies, Mr. Allen), Coheed could be defined as progressive, or arena emo, punk-infused-jam-concept-metal

I think just rock fits fine.

*in CD form. I pre-ordered. Free t shirt and DVD.
°read: Longest
^Well, actually there are real strings on some tracks.

The First Submission: Never Trust a Hippie

Never Trust a Hippie, The recent LP offering from NOFX prior to the release of their newest, "Wolves in Wolves Clothing," is both another inflammatory indictment of the current political situation, and a rave about their own status as, in their own words, "the punk Rolling Stones."

If you have no experience with NOFX, you owe it to yourself to put this one on the stereo and take a cruise down an interstate late at night alone or with a good buddy.

Fat Mike and crew have no interest in pithy titles, content instead to simply rock out to lyrical guitar stylings of a band 20 years in the business.

If nothing else, enjoy it for a song dedicated to the then-upcoming Easter.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

The Odds

Average year of release for Toonces’s first three CD submissions: 1986
Average number of people in the bands of Angela's first three CD submissions: 6
Average number of Feldheim users that have previously heard one of Osama's first three CD submissions: 3
Average number of CD’s Screech's will put for each monthly submission: 2

First Person to submit a band that we had listened to in HIGH SCHOOL (Anywhere from Misfits to Dave Matthews)

First Person to bring in someone from OUTSIDE the Original 7 into our Gang:

First person to GET IN TROUBLE at work because Boss is looking over shoulder while making submissions:

First person to put up a band purely for COMEDIC or SHOCK value

Odds that this project will last until the end of 2006

Odds that used to believe in this man: